If you’re going to talk about politics—or really anything potentially divisive and emotionally charged—these four suggestions from Harvard Business Review can help:

• Focus on learning
• Ask for permission
• Show respect
• Focus on common ground

HBR used actors to represent different styles of communication in a study:

The results were remarkable. When the actors used the four simple skills, they were:

• Five times more likely to be seen as diplomatic
• Four times more likely to be seen as likeable
• Three times more likely to be seen as knowledgeable
• 140% more persuasive
• 140% more likely to stay in dialogue with others
• 180% more likely to maintain relationships with others
• When these same actors didn’t use the four skills, observers labeled them as “abrasive,” “unlikeable,” and “ignorant.”