I recently added Ask MetaFilter to my news reader. It’s a colossal waste of time, but occasionally will have something that educates or amuses.
The latest example is a mom who sticks bad jokes into her five year old’s lunch box every day, and wanted a resource for those jokes. Not only did the “hive mind” come up with some classic gems, e.g.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.
Q: Why is the ocean salty?
A: Cause pepper makes the fish sneeze.
they also came up with URLs full of these groaners. I spent several minutes laughing stupidly. From Squigly’s Jokes & Riddles came these:
Q: Imagine you’re stuck in a car that’s falling off the edge of a cliff and you can’t climb out, what do you do?
A: Stop imagining.
Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall?
Q: How do you get out of a room with no doors or windows when you only have a baseball and bat?
A: Throw the ball up. Miss. Strike 1. Throw again. Miss. Strike 2. Again. Miss. Strike 3. You’re out!
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: “Where’s my tractor?”
Q: Why do seagulls fly over seas and not bays?
A: Because then they would be bagels
Alas, my girlfriend didn’t find these amusing. I don’t understand why. Here’s a final one, from Bad Puns, that may explain it:
Two parts of the eye were discussing who told better puns. Their debate raged on, till one said to the other, “You, my friend, are simply the pupil. I am by far the cornea of the two of us.”