Translation From PR-Speak to English of Selected Portions of Media Rights Technologies C&D Threat

Media Rights Technologies and Issue Cease and Desist to Microsoft, Apple, Adobe and Real Networks 1

The Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) was signed into law by President Clinton in 1998 to disseminate and protect the arts in the digital age.

We just heard about this “DMCA” thing today, and thought we’d see if it could make us money.

It makes illegal and prohibits the manufacture of any product or technology that is designed for the purpose of circumventing a technological measure which effectively controls access to a copyrighted work or which protects the rights of copyright owners.

Don’t make stuff that only exists to steal stuff. That’s wrong.

Under the DMCA, mere avoidance of an effective copyright protection solution is a violation of the act.

If you don’t stop the crime, we’ll make you do the time.

MRT and BlueBeat have developed a technological measure which effectively controls access to copyrighted material.

Wait a minute! We make “effective” copyright protection solutions. A loophole! A loophole!

That product, the X1 SeCure Recording Control,

We love unNecessary inTercaps.

has been tested by the industry’s standards bodies, the RIAA and IFPI, and has been proven effective against stream ripping, while protecting privacy and limiting infringement liability for users, distributors and academic institutions.

The people who sue children like us. What more can you ask for?

It has been designed for rapid deployment on a reasonable and non-discriminatory (RAND) basis.

Anyone can use it, it’s cheap. Prices so low, we’re practically giving it away.

Therefore, Media Rights Technologies (MRT) and have issued cease and desist letters to Microsoft, Adobe, Real Networks and Apple with respect to the production or sale of such products as the Vista OS, Adobe Flash Player, Real Player, Apple iTunes and iPod.

No one wants to buy our stuff. Maybe legal departments of billion dollar companies are easier to contact than their procurement departments?

MRT asserts Apple, Microsoft, Real and Adobe have produced billions of these products without regard for the DMCA or the rights of American Intellectual Property owners, actively avoiding the use of MRT’s technologies.

Next up: we’re suing car drivers for using generic gas rather than Chevron with Techron. Don’t you care about protecting your car’s engine?

Failure to comply with this demand could result in a federal court injunction to any of the above named parties to cease production or sale of their products and/or the imposition of statutory damages of at least $200 to $2500 for each product distributed or sold.

Nice business you got there. Be a shame if something happened to it.

“Together these four companies are responsible for 98 percent of the media players in the marketplace; CNN, NPR, Clear Channel, MySpace Yahoo and YouTube all use these infringing devices to distribute copyrighted works,” states MRT CEO Hank Risan.

We’re not after the gold diggers, we’re after the pick-axe makers. Same reason to rob banks.

“We will hold the responsible parties accountable. The time of suing John Doe is over.”

They don’t have any money anyway.

  1. With apologies to John Gruber

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